The End of Innocence

Trixie isn’t a kid anymore. I always figured I wouldn’t realize it until she started kindergarten or maybe college. Instead, it happened Tuesday.

I was dropping her off at daycare, unpacking her stuff for the day and her teacher told me that I didn’t need to leave her Silky. Really? Maybe she doesn’t needs pants either. Or her kidneys. But then I realized that she was right. Trixie doesn’t need Silky anymore.

It’s quite a shock. She used to drag that thing everywhere. Now we have to coerce her to take it. And she’ll only accept when she’s tired. Sometimes.

From a managing point of view, it’s a loss. Silky was a means of control and comfort. What am I supposed to throw at her when the server is down and she’s cranky? Raisins?

Not only has Trixie given up Silky, she’s not sucking her thumb anymore either. She had to cut back on that after the raging skin infection she had last month. The infection, of course, was caused by her sucking her thumb so much that the callous split open. That definitely threw cold water on the whole comfort factor. She’s better now, but appears to given up the habit for good.

So in the course of a short month, Silky and thumb-sucking are history. It’s funny, because I always figured we were going to face some kind of security object/activity showdown as Trixie got older. Poor kid, she never even had the chance to figure out that we were spelling S-I-L-K-Y when a certain pink blanket was sopping wet in the washing machine.

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26 Responses to The End of Innocence

  1. Maddie's Mom says:

    Throwing raisins works for Maddie. Seriously, though…it is a milestone, albeit one that none of the books talk about. Congrats/condolences to all of you.

  2. Nicholas says:

    We lucked out when our son forgot about his pacifier. He was about 2 and got Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. It gave him uncomfortable blisters on his tongue. So it hurt to suck a pacifier. The blisters only lasted a few days, but he sort of forgot about it in that time.

    The stuffed animal lasted longer. For our 2nd child we bought 3 identical animals. That way one could be forgotten places and not cause a real hassle. Of course, she wants all 3 animals simultaneously.

  3. 2 girl mama says:

    (new here) WOW bed, i know its hard, my 2 1/2 year old Avery has had a few of these “growing up” moments that are good, but bittersweet. I think it shows that shes confident and secure and her parents are responible for that! Kudos to you! Avery and her little sister have a passie, and i know its going to be a BATTLE to kick them….someday!

  4. 2 girl mama says:

    yeah, thats supposed to be BEN not BED,it’s a little early here on the east coast.

  5. Kelli says:

    Just don’t get rid of Silky – it will be nice for her to have when she’s older, as a reminder of her early childhood. I still have the stuffed dog and bean-bag rabbit given to me on my first Christmas and first Easter. ‘Course, I carried them around for a lot longer than Trixie has carried Silky, but still…

  6. SuzyQ says:

    My youngest has a stuffed bunny rabbit, her “Bun-Bun”, that used to be a light orange color. It has been washed and drug around so much that it’s just kind of gray now. We have had to confine Bun-Bun to her bedroom, or she would carry it everywhere. She only sucks her thumb when she has her Bun-Bun, so this is a way of cutting down on the thumb-sucking. One day Bun-Bun will “hop away” (to a closet in our house somewhere), but we will always keep it.

    I still have the tatters of my old blankie that I slept with until I was in school!

  7. JO says:

    WOW, can’t believe how fast Trixie is growing up. She sure has made some huge leaps lately. I know babies grow fast, but darn she is growing and ageing too fast!!!! Jo

  8. haeshu says:

    trixie yet again proving that girls are so much more mature than little boys. eliot still has his puppy dog rufus at night. although i get the feeling that he isnt esentially, just a familiar comfort. granted if he rufus doesnt make his way to the closet before eliot is say sixteen, then i might have to step in.

  9. Sherry says:

    What is it with pink blankets!? We have a child who still has hers and she will be 6 next month! Lucky you that Trixie is giving hers up. I sometimes think our daughter will walk down the isle with that thing! As a mother of 4 girls, I really enjoy your columm. Keep up the good work!

  10. Summer says:

    Wow it’s sad! Trixie is really growing up.

  11. tj says:

    sometimes I wonder – I mean, we say the kids need the security blanket but in my house it sure is the parents who rely on that thing just as much! For (the boy’s) peace and quiet and comfort, and (the parents’) amusement as he drags around that orange fish head called Otto that’s attached to a blanket, and throws himself on the floor in shear joy…

  12. Samantha says:

    Don’t forget though ben that she will always be your baby–she’s still a kid just not a baby anymore. (I’m going through a stage similar to yours right now)

  13. Kristen says:

    Wow, I am surprised Trixie can give up her blankie so easily. I am 21 and STILL sleep with my special blankie. I tried putting her away when I was like 12 so she wouldn’t get ruined, but she was back in my bed that night. 🙂

  14. Nanay says:

    My heart just went out to you hearing about Trixie letting go of her Silky. It is such a bittersweet milestone.

    We’re still figuring out a security object for my daughter, who is just 2 months. So we’re at the other end of that milestone.

  15. Carrie Jo says:

    I am 25 and still sleep with my stuffed dog I’ve had since I was 5 1/2 or so. My husband doesn’t mind though, thank God. I do think that her ease in letting go of her silky and thumb sucking says a lot about how comfortable and secure Trixie is naturally. Good on you both for such successful parenting so far ;o)

  16. lori says:

    Although this is a sad milestone (maybe more for Mom & Dad?), Trixie easily parting from Silky & thump sucking is a good thing.

    My security object was my Teddy Bear. He went EVERYWHERE with me. He was a gift at birth. Talk about separation anxiety! My parents pretended he went on a trip with my Great Aunt, all the while he was in the hall closet. They even wrote a letter, from him, saying he was having a good time and he’d see me again. (I found the letter about 10 yrs ago in a bunch of stuff they saved for me.) I guess they were forced to do something so I wouldn’t be carring him around with me…still, to this day! He is stored in a trunk at my parents, but I would love to see him again.

  17. Amber says:

    Back in mid december my 5 year old son recently gave up the blanket. Well we ‘made’ him give it up. His dad hid it from him to see if he can survive without it. After it being hidden behind our recliner I finally took it out, washed it and put it up in our linen closet. The blanket was his father’s when he was a baby so the thing was ragged and had no life to it. He only asked for it a couple times with in that week.
    I am wondering what my 3 month old daughter will cling on to. Right now her thumb and ‘nursies” are in the ranking.

  18. Kim says:

    Hi Guys
    Just keep Silky tucked away somewhere safe, you never know, she may ask for it again.
    I was still sucking my thumb and had my “nyny’s till I was well over 17 years old. 🙂
    Much to my joy and my families horror…hehehe
    Kim in New Zealand

  19. Michele says:

    I totally feel your pain, Ben and Jenn. I had the same bittersweet feeling when my daughter started solids, and when she cut 2 teeth. As aexciting as it is to watch them meet these milestones, it’s always a little sad when you realize that you’re going to blink your eyes and she’s going to be 18. 🙁

  20. Malinda says:

    I am 24 years old and still sleep with the blanket i was given to me the day i was born. I also still sleep with a teddybear that i got from my mom before she sent me to live with my dad because she couldnt take care of us anymore. My boyfriend hates it and tries to tear it up all the time but i wont let him i tried to sleep with out them and it just wont work so i still have them. Sometimes i fell really stupid i have to take them on trips and places with me. But deal with it i guess i will have them forever. Good thing she let them go.

  21. Heather says:

    First of course, I feel your pain on this one. My son still brings his special doll (Meggy) to day care but she’s recently been banned from his bed. (Although if she’s a very good doll she can sleep on the floor nearby.) I can’t help but feel bad for Meggy… I feel obligated to defend her, and I worry that he’s disrespecting her role in the family. Yes, parenthood kills brain cells.

    Secondly: This is great news!!! She is learning to self-soothe, she doesn’t need Silky to do the soothing anymore. You don’t need raisins, there’s a new security blanket in town: it’s called Self Esteem.

    You done good.

  22. lori says:

    Hey, Ben…When can we get spell check for our comments?
    My wild fingers think Trixie sucks her thumP (or used to).
    Don’t all kids have thumPs?

  23. JJ says:

    The good news is this means she has a very stable foundation of comforting love from her parents plus does not have an addictive nature – which will prove VERY important in the teen years. It really is good news that she can take or leave her comforter. Congratulations!

  24. becky says:

    Wow. It really is the end of an era… I just noticed that although data hadn’t been collected for a while, diaper telemetry is gone for good! Trixie is maturing so fast!

  25. Frodolaughs says:

    As a little kid I had a special stuffed animal and blanket. What’s all this blather about having to wean kids of these things? I kept the blanket on my bed for many years. It’s now tucked away in my parents’ basement along with other bits of memorabilia. The stuffed animal? He’s travelled the world with me and is currently safe in a corner of my bedroom. Wherever I travel he comes along, a reminder of home and family, and a detail which makes any new, impersonal space connected to the other places I’ve been, and my current life connected to my past.

  26. cynfred says:

    I think I’m more attached to Desi’s toys than she is. I have a favorite blanket that I like to snuggle her in. She hasn’t shown any attachement to any toys or blankets yet. She never took a pacifer.
    Definetly keep Silkie. She will love it when she gets older if she is the sentimental type.