99.44% Delicious


During baths, Trixie is obsessed with the bar of soap. We still wash her with Johnson’s Baby Wash, but the Ivory sometimes floats around as a distraction. She can’t get enough of it: it floats, it sinks, it’s slippery, it makes bubbles. What more could you ask for? Maybe a better taste. She screamed bloody murder after this incident — but only for a minute or two. I’m waiting for the next bath to see if she learned anything from her taste test.

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22 Responses to 99.44% Delicious

  1. Tina says:

    LOL. At least you know she doesn’t like it… in 14 years or so, you might be washing her mouth out with it. 😉

  2. Kelli says:

    14 years? The last time my mouth was washed out with soap, I was about 5 or 6. Don’t remember what I said to have the bar shoved in my mouth, but my cousin was my partner in crime and underwent the same punishment. Had my mom tried that when I was 14 (and about as large as she was!), she would’ve had a fight on her hands…

    Ben – I love these “crime scene” photos! It will be interesting to see if Trixie remembers the wonderful taste of a mouth full of soap during her next bath. Ugh.

  3. jennifer says:

    i agree with trixie, soap tastes BAD! my mother washed my mouth out with soap more than once but she used the old school yellow dial bar. yuck. and although we all swear we will not be like our parents, i have already threatened callie with the “treatment” when she gets her mouth going.

  4. Tina says:

    Kelli, I was being optimistic. I began cursing at 5 (learned it from my grandparents who were raising me). I wasn’t so lucky as to get my mouth washed out… we’ll leave it at that.

  5. hannah says:

    Yes! ANother crime scene photo – my favorite! At least it’s Ivory and not Dial or something – isn’t Ivory pure? No growth hormones or antibiotics?

  6. John says:

    Colum’s thing in the bath is the pull-up switch that turns on the shower. He loves to mess with it, but everytime he’s succesful and the shower actually comes on, it scares the bejeezus out of him. Does that stop him from trying again next bath?

    No, it does not. Not at all.

  7. jennifer says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…john, that is the funniest thing i have heard all day! poor colum!

  8. Jaynee says:

    I had my mouth washed out when I was in 7th grade – it was right around the time that the pump dispenser was the “new” thing (early 1980s?). Two squirts in my mouth and voila – I never again said whatever word it was that made my mom punish me.

  9. lori says:

    LOL! What perfect little teeth. 🙂 Not to encourage you or anything Ben, but too bad she didn’t have ALL her teeth to give you a full mouth impression. Could of saved you some money in dental X-ray costs down the road. BTW, FYI – I’ve heard that you take them to the dentist anywhere between 1-2 yrs old.

  10. Adrian says:

    I love this site, it is so funny, I really hope your plan is to make this into a book. My daughter is a couple of months behind Trixie and I actually use this as a reference manual. The Ivory, classic!

  11. Michelle says:

    My daughter actually LIKES to eat soap so we have to be careful in the bathroom with her. She got a hold of some “green apple” bar soap and it looked like a beaver had gnawed it when she was done. ( I thought she was just sniffing it- it never occurred to me she would eat something so horrible) Then when it came up via vomit it looked like the candy “Dots” so I accused my husband of feeding her candy again.. until we saw the soap in the bathroom later!

  12. benmac says:

    Since Trixie self-washed her mouth out with soap, I’m going to give her one free round of cursing to be redeemed when she’s old enough to clearly and forcefully pronounce any curse word of her choosing.

    Also: Thanks for the warning about fruit scented soaps. 🙂

  13. Leslie says:

    Graham also snacks on soap at bathtime but has yet to react negatively to the taste. Similarly, if left to his own devices in a sandbox, he starts shoveling handfuls of sand in his mouth (again no adverse reaction). This from a kid who took one bite of perfectly cooked scrambled eggs at lunch today before promptly making a face and spitting it out.

  14. FrumDad says:

    Put some sand in the eggs. Or just throw them in the sandbox.

    Alternately, you might just leave the food on the floor and when Graham goes to eat it, say, “No, that’s not for your mouth.” This last — at least with Rachel — will guarantee that as soon as you turn your back it’ll go right into the baby, do not pass Go, do not bother to chew.

    But, if you go that last route, you might want to start putting money away for the therapist.


  15. Leslie says:

    FD: Fabulous idea! We will be slowly re-writing the Seuss classic “I do not like them Graham-I-am. I do not like Green Eggs and Sand!”

    We’ve gotta get the 529 in place before a therapy fund is an option so I think subbing in sand for salt is an innovative, simple, and cost-effective approach to the eggs. I’ll keep you posted.

  16. My mother swept the kitchen floor
    And someone knocked at our front door.
    A pile of dust for me to attack!
    I grabbed it when she turned her back.

    And as I brought it to my maw…
    She saw!
    She turned around and saw!

    And then she said:
    “Don’t put that there!
    Don’t put that there!
    That the dust and dirt from everywhere!”

    I did not listen
    No I did not
    I ate it up right on the spot!

    And it was good!
    So very good!
    Chunks of paper, Hunks of wood!
    So much better than baby food!

    And ceterah…


  17. Jo says:

    FrumDad, I truly enjoyed your poem, your almost as good as Suess! Ben, I don’t know which I like best, your info on Trixie or your readers comments. Both are informative and funny. GREAT job your doing!!! As an old Gramma, I’m reliving the good old days. Jo

  18. Shelley says:

    I love the poem! Just think of the marketing possibilities for a children’s book. You could enclose liitle miniature bags of dust and dirt (100% organic of course).

  19. Leslie says:

    Shelley and FD: Yes the poem is great and the book idea an excellent companion. Could be like the Cherrios play book, if you happen to have that one. I suggest making it widely marketable so that sand should not only be organic but kosher, vegetarian and recycled.

  20. Zenzile says:

    Dude ! I loved the big bar of Ivory Soap when my parents bathed me too. It was so big because my hands were so small but I remember whenever I got a hold of it, I liked to spin it around and around in my fist. I guess it got easier to do this as it melted.

  21. steven says:

    michelle and leslie, I thought I was the only kid that loved to eat soap. Michelle, how much soap did your daughter eat? did she blow bubbles out of her mouth or does that only happen on TV? green apple bar soap eh? sounds good enough for me to try and chew and swallow the whole bar. Personally, I prefer Camay Clssic. I have chewed and swallowed several of these bars with no adverse reactions such as throwing up or explosive diarhea, I also like chuging down a whole mouth full of Dawn dishsoap every once in a while. It has a sweet taste to it.

  22. bert says:

    I think all kids that young try it at least once.
    Everyone knows what it taste like. I got mine washed out a few times and I did notice if I like the smell of the soap I did not mind the taste as bad. Zest Yuck.